i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
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Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
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omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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