Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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