The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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