Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away