i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween