My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea