btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go