sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
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oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
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He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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