You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.