Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often