I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
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I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
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I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?