I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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