It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
