sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
