margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
