All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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