She went from zero to smokin in five shots
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
