fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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