Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
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She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
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P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
That's how pantless uber rides happen
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize