Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
