We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
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i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
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Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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