when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
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can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
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I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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