I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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