Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
