you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize