She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
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matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
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Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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