Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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