I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to