It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet