ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Apple has a Lot to Explain to iPhone X Customers
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
People Asked The Internet Questions About their Private Parts And The Results Are Hilarious
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.