i'm signing you up for texting rehab
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk