i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
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I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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