omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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