I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed