At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?