So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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