he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
