Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
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I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
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Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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