tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize