The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
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Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
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Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.