Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD