If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.