I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize