1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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