The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
