is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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