don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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