Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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