dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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