I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
