I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
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Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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