Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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