While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize