the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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