He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I touched a dick in church today
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
