After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
