I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
