What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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