do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
