If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize