it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
soo... how was my night?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
