Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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